Valentine's Day has come and gone, but love has stayed on my mind. Who do you love in life? What places and objects also have a special place in your heart and being? Moreover, how do you express the love you feel for those dear to you? And how does that love feel within you? I grew up in a family that was hit by two deaths within less than a year of each other. My father's mother and sister both died of the same type of cancer, and my family felt the losses strongly. I was 10 at the time of my grandmother's death; 11 at the time of my aunt's. Their passing shook my relatively comfortable world and led me to some pretty profound questions, which no "answers" spoken by my caring loved ones seemed able to satisfy. I wrestled with such questions on and off for years to come. Eventually, a deep faith--one that can be questioned and unanswerable--resulted, and for that I am grateful. In addition to helping me develop a deeply- rooted faith, however, the losses I experienced in those formative years also had a great impact on how I view the people, places, and things that are most dear to me in life. Fairly early on, I learned that life--just like so many of its treasures--is fleeting. Each day does count, and what we make of it, how we spend it, how we treat others and ourselves, and what we learn from it shapes us, just as it influences the people, places, and things around us. Whatever our circumstances, we have a choice of how to respond to them. I was reminded of this a couple weeks ago by Scarlett Lewis. On Monday, February 12th, the after-school professional development session for some of the elementary schools in the district where I teach was an introduction to the Jesse Lewis Choose Love Movement. The movement was founded by Scarlett Lewis, whose six-year-old son, Jesse, was killed in Sandy Hook. Dealt what must be considered one of life's hardest circumstances, Scarlett Lewis has dedicated herself to bringing this movement to schools and families across the United States and around the globe. The movement calls for social-emotional learning for all children--and adults, as everyone can benefit from the teachings--with the goal, as stated on their website (www.jesselewischooselove.org), "to foster the understanding that with the right tools, we can educate and encourage individuals to choose loving thoughts over angry thoughts." Two days later, another mass school shooting occurred in Florida. Such events are all too common, and a multi-faceted approach is needed to curb them, as the problems behind them are also multi-faceted and complex. Yet, I agree with Scarlett Lewis that learning to love and to be loved--lessons many of us take for granted, but in doing so should also realize that they aren't the norm for every person nor, furthermore, for every child--are essential components of any long-term solution. I've been thinking a lot lately about this idea of love. And I've been thinking about how mindfulness, over the past three years, has helped me learn to love others and myself more deeply, more genuinely, and more selflessly than I ever had before exploring mindfulness. I've always been quite loving and have learned through life how to express that love through actions and words. But love can be a tricky emotion, as it can become entangled with jealousy, anger, resentment, fear, and a whole host of other complicated feelings. This is where mindfulness has helped me grow the most, as love has become less and less about who or what I love, and more and more about love as the energy of feeling connected and grounded, supporting me at my "center," while encouraging others to be fully at theirs, too. It is as much about looking outward at the people, places, and things I love as it is about looking inward, and seeing or, more accurately, feeling the resonation within me that indicates the sense of connection love fosters. Through my own explorations of social-emotional learning and mindfulness, I have, indeed, learned better how to love and to be loved, and I fully agree that if everyone had the chance in life to learn these lessons, the world would be a better, more peaceful place. If you are a parent, an educator, or anyone who works with children in any capacity, I encourage you to check out the Jesse Lewis website, as there are a lot of free resources available to support social-emotional learning. And on a personal note, I ask you to consider the words of a Kenny Roger's song: "Through the years, through all the good and bad, I know how much we've had. I've always been so glad to be with you...I've learned what life's about, by loving you through the years." (You can listen to the whole song at https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9z1A1R8RQZs if you'd like.) The song brings tears to my eyes nearly every time I listen to it, as it is accompanied in my mind by a slideshow of the family and friends who have all helped make my days so rich. Perhaps the song reminds you of someone, too? A significant other, a treasured sibling, or a best friend who's been through so much with you in life? Whoever the song brings up, consider reaching out to that person or people just to check in, say hello, and see how things are going. Each day with our loved ones is a blessing, and what we say and do each day does count...will you choose love today? Lovingly, Lisa
1 Comment
Judy Thornton
2/25/2018 09:20:59 pm
Lisa,
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